Eli’s Aliyah Tips
The Metamorphosis of an Oleh
You dreamed about coming to Israel since you were a kid. Over the last few years you have had to face the often harsh criticism of friends and family who thought your idea of actually making Aliyah, was rash and even folly. In spite of it all, you sold your house, left your job, packed your belongings, and now you are here, and the first one to greet you is a third rate bureaucrat who couldn’t care less.
Your first days are one of almost wonder. Here you are actually realizing a dream! Wow - everything is in Hebrew, even the parking tickets. I can go to the Kotel whenever I want. And most of all I am no longer a tourist – I belong here.
Most Olim after this initial period of being on a high, sink into a depression which can last anywhere from a few weeks to a year. This is the time when reality clashes with ideals. Yes everything is in Hebrew - except you don’t really understand what they are saying. Yes you can visit the Kotel - but you simply don’t have the time. Yes, you are no longer a tourist - but you don’t feel you belong. Many new Olim feel helpless, almost as a child. Just imagine a successful young adult who has an MBA, had a respectable job suddenly can’t even provide for his family or say a full sentence without feeling like an idiot. You sense of worth plummets, and you begin to ask yourself why did I do this to myself and my family.
How to Cope?
While there are no guarantees and shortcuts:
- Remember that almost every Oleh has gone through this before you
- Find a group of new Olim in your area and get together. Compare notes, complain, and do some of the difficult tasks jointly i.e. getting a drivers license, looking for a fridge etc.
- There are also email lists whether local ( Beit Shemesh, Efrat etc) or general ( Tachlis) on which you can find both support and great advice from veteran Olim.
- Begin to study in an Ulpan as soon as you can. As time goes by you will find countless excuses why not to do it
- Use a checklist such as are available in the AACI or the Jewish Agency web sites. This will give you some kind of handle when you think you are not getting anywhere.
- Take time to see the country and also have fun. This is especially important for those of you who have children. Don’t lose track of why you came!
- Have patience!!! The first word most Olim learn is Savlanut – patience, which isn't to be confused with Sovlanut - tolerance. Actually, thinking about it, you definitely need both.
When will I get over it?
Usually once you have learned enough Hebrew to understand basic news you will not feel as cut off. You can then (if you are suicidal) become a normal Israeli, OD’ing on the news every hour. Your self-esteem will improve as soon as you find work and see that first paycheck, no matter what size it is . This is why Olim are advised to take almost any job in their field as the first job – just to get into the market and meet people. Over 80% of all Olim keep their first job less then a year.
A Final Word
Once you are over it you may not be on the same high you were when you stepped off the plane but you will really be an Oleh Vatik and then be able to help others which alone is worth it.
Eli Birnbaum is a counseling psychologist who has been working with Olim for the past 20 years. He presently serves as Director of Internet for the Jewish Agency and World Zionist Organization. Eli also is also the founder and moderator of the Tachlis Aliyah Forum one of the first (almost 10 years old ) Jewish discussion groups on-line, which has helped literally thousands of Olim over the years.
Eli’s E-Mail address: birnbaum@wzo.org.il
Jewish Agency website: http://www.jafi.org.il
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